Salty of mine.

Hey Assalamualaikum..

Im coming back from long time no post..

Today, i just wanna tell everything just for you dad.
what my life happened today and before.

Dad,
I Miss you.
This what wont change forever as after you left me for a better place.
Im doing good dad, sure im doing good.
But i miss everything between us.

Dad,
im crying all day missing you until when old men walk by me, im imagined they always you.

Dad,
Mom needs you now dad. Help me to recover all her pains from losing you.
She's no longer stronger than i would say before dad but she does try to look strong over me.

When our last eyes to eyes dad, i remember how you look at me, and it will always be remembered dad especially when im looking at mom before my farewell to go to college. it reminds me all over again.

Dad, i promise you! to be a better son. i pomise.

Dad, haha just wanna tell you, the girl i used to like and care of before until now and i showed you before now clapped my hand. How im happy and yeah i do wanna tell you the day im coming back but you're not there. its okay dad. But dad, she's good, nice and even know how to comfort me. She teaches me a lot until today.

Dad, i promise myself to marry her if Allah wills us.

Today, our family also do good dad. They become better day by day. May Allah has granted all your prayers.

Dad. Be happy there.Until we meet again. Bye.

a calling for hope

Assalamualaikum,

please dont ask me why am i just suddenly write something here.. i will always question myself why im not writing something new to post and share with everyone what should i share.. exactly my answer will only becoz im too embarrassed of myself for you my dear blog. now im not the same like i used to be before.

now im telling you the truth, i miss everything i have done before. k bye. such a confession, my ego is precious.

sometimes i always do ask myself, am i good enough to other? as i just only wanna people become similarly from what in my mind. if i wait for this i should say, "buddy, u will keep dreaming for nothing"

look at this world, please step up to the reality. this world is the one who never care of ur sadness n hope. what u should only do is keep pushing efforts to things u used to do. becoz life is cruel. *i guess*

Going back to Allah is something i always do in my life but do i keep giving my best to Him? such a no answer would be given. kah3 im joking to myself. please la, Allah is not the one who u can kidding with. becoz of His patient, i still alive and survive until today.

he never give me hardness before and everything when i need help and ask for Him to ease me, He's like quickly replied my dua. And now, im asking Him to please give me back to become closer to Him and He pays with the difficulties that beyond my expectation. if i tell u He is cruel, u will tell me that im not grateful. Yes! i do support ur answer. Allah gives me this coz He knows i can endure n bear all this problem. one thing, i need to accept that this things will happen one day. So now, i just praying to Him to give me strengths for me to ease everything with His wills.

insyaAllah. goodnite PJ. I love you.

Goodnite Dad and Mom, i hope u can sleep soundly and wake up with smiley. from me, ur stubborn son but still love both of you.

i miss. ahhhhhhhhhhh

Heartbeats~

Something i can hide,
because the hidden is precious.
I cant tell the world what it is,
because im afraid to lose it.

Tuhan kadang tak menduga kita dengan ujian besar,
Cukup dengan ujian syukur kita padaNya.
Kalau manusia mengerti,
apa yg dihadiriNya.

*---------------------------*

Tertanya-tanya pada diri,

apa sebenarnya yg dikehendaki,

dikasihi atau mengasihi,

sedang diri sudah dilengkapi.

Kasih famili diketepi,

fokus lebih pada yg belum pasti,

hilang pergi tak kunjung kemari,

menangis tiada guna lagi.

Bila pengalaman mengajar setiap hari,

aku kian mengerti,

pasal hidup dan mati,

tapi masih tak cukup utk berdikari.

Mereka kemari tanpa aku kunjungi,

hadir mereka tak pernah didugai,

cuma bila ada aku rasa disayangi,

walau kasih tak ditunjuki.

Kesihatannya semakin dikhuatiri,

walau dulu dia lah singa yg sering memarahi,

padahal niat hati menasihati,

itulah ayahku yg saban hari makin disayangi.

Wajah awet muda aku tak nafi,

walau marah, marahnya menyayangi,

biar penat lelah asal anak dicukupi,

dialah Selamah, ibu yg aku kasihi.

7 beradik yg tinggal kini,

bila hilang anak bongsu emas yg teramat dicintai,

sakit pedih aku kira aku boleh dalami,

cuma ku harap 7 ini mampu merawat luka di hati.

Sesekali aku tatap wajah sendiri,

aku jua punya kelasi sendiri,

sama ajar dengan yg 7 lagi,

menghiasi corak famili ini.

Cuma mulai hari ini,

doa dalam hati,

Jangan pernah seseorg hilang lagi,

biar semua tersemat dihati,

Kalau hilang kawan aku boleh cari,

hilang kekasih bisa cari pengganti,

kalau hilang orang yg selalu di setiap hari ini,

aku kira aku tak sanggup menempuhi.

Ya Rabbi,

suburkan hati kami,

dengan kasih sayang murni,

ukhwah yg sejati.

Ya Rabbi,

jika tawa itu manis,

jadikan tawa itu tawa kami,

jika tangis itu memberi erti,

ajarilah kami sehingga kami mengerti.

*-------------------------*

2.42am 5/11/14

The Siblings~

Assalamualaikum...

Dalam cinta ada duka,

Dalam bahagia ada derita,

Dalam bercerita ada kisahnya,

Baik sedih mahupun gembira.

Wahai blog yg baik hati, izin aku berkongsi cerita hati pd kali ini. Malu pada dirimu mmgla ada tapi.... aku kira ini cerita bahagia yg aku ingin berkongsi. Consider it please.

before i begin my words, nah skeping utk korg.

Mgkin kelakar mgkin comel mgkin semuanya tp ni saja je nk post sbb rasa mcm rindu bila tgok gambar.

Belajar mengenai bahagia, aku rasa manusia nampak Cinta. Betul? Hmm aku khuatir andai aku pon memberi jawapan yg sama. Tapi tak mengapa, aku kira hormat jawapan orang lain juga perlu ada.

Aku selalu tulis dalam minda aku bahagia ni dua, Menerima dan Menghargai. Dgn dua mnde ni akan mengabungkan Cinta, Pengorbanan dan Perasaan.

Tapi bahagia ini ialah Memiliki. Memiliki apa yg bahagia itu sendiri perlu. Kerana bahagia bukan terletak pada Terima, Hargai, Cinta, Pengorbanan dan Perasaan tp bahagia itu terletak pada hati dimana tempat menyimpan segala tentang diri. Hanya Tuhan dan kita sahaja tahu.

Kadang aku tertanya kenapa aku happy dgn korang, aku xdapat jawapan. Cuma apa yg bahagia perlu, ada di setiap kita bersama. 

Dan aku terlalu sedih pada kata2 "manusia mudah bercinta, kerna manusia itu mudah melupa"

Aku xde mnde lagi nk tulis, cuma harap.. apa yg dibaca aku semat dan aku kira ini pengajaran utk post kali ini walau aku malu pada dirimu blog.

Azam Baru

Assalamualaikum,

Kalimah cinta kali ini aku lafazkan pada Rabbi. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

Berhabuk dah haaaa. maafkan saya lama tidak menyentuh "benda" ni . I have more necessary things need to be completed instead of typing, writing in this blog, so i apologize you my lovy blog.

I know, i will never live longer in this world. This world is temporary but i dunno why i think like i will always be here like Hereafter is never exist. Full of shit.

Yeah! today, im coming back to this home of knowledge. CFS IIUM. i have nothing if i do nothing. So today, i get my promise to change to another me. I need to take barrier of ikhtilat into my self because this should be affected my life as im too friendly man and too much words to be talking with especially girl becoz they have lots of topic to be talking. Then, I wanna struggle in this semester becoz i need to increase my pointer. Who knows that this semester actually i need to crazily struggle myself to increase to be listed in dean list.

My mom said, "you have much time to do revision, review and complete ur tasks so dun make other things become burden on you. You life is in ur own determination. Remember this"

But what is going to be upset of my life, i dunno when, where and how should i start my murajaah al-Quran. This thing is crucially important to my life. Once people see in me, i have a book of holy words. But in me myself knows that i do nothing to keep it. This Al-Quran will be kept if people do securing their heart properly. Like a house which is has gold then people need to create number password of security guard to ensure that it will be saved in there. Then should curious of other parts that could be opened. So it so hard right. Then that my path until i died because Allah gave me what other people hardly to get it. Chosen people only will be selected to keep it. So rarely get, hardly keep.

Thats all for today. XOXO gebaiii.